10 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me

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Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother in ways I never thought I could or would. It’s just that I really had no idea what I was getting into. There are so many things people don’t tell you about and so many more that you just can’t fully understand until it’s your baby.

  1. Pregnancy is not all puppies and rainbows.  I feel bad every time I say this because I had relatively easy pregnancies, but I hated it. I like my kids a whole lot better now that they aren’t living within my person.
  2. Nothing about giving birth is predictable.  The only birth plan I ever had was “go to the hospital, get an epidural, push out a baby”. Simple, right? Yeah, not so much. 1.5 failed epidurals later, I am prone to side-eyeing anyone who tells me things went exactly as they planned.
  3. Sleep when the baby sleeps {no, really}. When I look back on those first few weeks of Joey’s life, I could kick myself. Those dishes didn’t need to get done, that laundry would have waited, and there was no reason to cook. Luke never slept longer than 20 minutes at a time so napping wasn’t an option with him and I’m bitter about it because by then I knew better.
  4. Some babies cry all the time. Nothing breaks a new mama’s confidence in her abilities like a baby that just can’t be comforted. Just know that it’s probably a lot more about them than you and that it will eventually stop.
  5. It’s okay to walk away for a minute. Like it was yesterday, I remember the first time I had to put Joseph down in his crib, walk out my front door, and close it behind me to drown out the screaming. I sat down on the door step and called my dad in tears. He assured me I was not the worst mother in the world.
  6. Sleep regression happens. My boys are not consistently good sleepers. They never have been and any little hiccup sets us back 9 steps. We’ve learned to live on little to no sleep and just keep hoping it will get better one day.
  7. Instinct is a powerful thing. I’ve never believed that giving birth makes you a mother {still don’t}, but there’s a lot to be said for the instincts that kick in the first time you lay eyes on your baby. Trust those instincts even when everyone else acts like you’re just being a freak.
  8. Daddies are a big deal. Joey was always a mama’s boy {although Sal could always put him to sleep when I couldn’t}. Luke has been more attached to his dad since day one. It’s possible I’ve shed a tear or two over the fact that they don’t both love ME the most. It just works out that way sometimes and you can’t take it personally.
  9. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I have an amazing support system and I am super grateful for them, but I was afraid to ask for help a lot of the time. I didn’t want people to think I couldn’t hang and, looking back, that was ridiculous.
  10. Enjoy the good stuff, tolerate the bad. That’s right. I said it. You don’t have to enjoy every minute. It’s silly to think you will even if your grandmother and the random lady at the market insist you should. Some stuff will suck and that’s okay because other stuff will be way better than you could have imagined.

So there it is. Take it or leave it, these are just the things I wish someone had told me before I became a mom {not that I would have believed them, but still}. Definitely not a comprehensive list, but I think I hit the important points. Being a mom is both the most difficult and the most amazing experience of my life. It’s versatile like that.

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  1. I think you nailed it.

  2. Word. Love this,

  3. Hi there, I’m stopping over from the SITS link up – love this list! It’s so true! I think I learned how to rely on my own instinct with Addison’s birth because no matter how many books you read (or how often yuo call the pediatrician emergency line), at the end of the day no one knows your baby like you do.

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